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  • Writer's pictureChris Anderson

Have you ever pondered what weird, wacky, wild things a private investigator might do on a gig?

Updated: May 6

My career started by infiltrating a food warehouse, it will remain nameless. 😊 I really had no idea what I was doing there, I was fresh out of being a process server and another PI needed a young, studly, athletic dude and I totally met all the criteria. He threw me in with the wolves, I was already hired but had to go through the interview process to make it look like I got hired legitimately. The problem at this business, was the night shift manager wasn’t living up to assurances with his crew and there were problems with shoplifting and drugs, allegedly.


warehouse

It was a just an all-around great shift too, it was the 6:00 pm- 2 or 4:00 am shift, all the way in the cow fields of Laveen AZ. While infiltrating the company, I had to fit and drive the pallet jack, to stack towers of product. But my resumes say’s I know how to drive a jack. Riiiight.



That job is only for a select full, to do day in and day out. What wear and tear on the body, but I did it. I got the information needed, only because I stepped off the jack and onto cardboard, but I didn’t know it was a “slip sheet”, covering the BBQ sauce underneath it from a broken bottle. So, I pulled a Charlie Brown and fell on my ass, fracturing my tailbone. Afterwards, I was nicknamed BBQ Sauce, put on light duty, but I was able to converse and observe the employees and manager more often. In fact, I did my job too well, and the gig got cut a lot sooner than expected.


 

I once conducted surveillance at a strip club. Supposedly a “dancer” over dosed and the club owner was a touch concerned about drugs inside. But come on, strip clubs and drugs, go hand in hand, like peanut butter and banana sandwiches.


I was hired to observe and report. Easiest surveillance I ever did. I arrived, brought a along a friend, you know, to fit in and we secured a table.


Club had a posted prohibition on video. So, I had to go in and watch the girls dance, interact with customers as they sat on the customers laps, so that I could testify if it ever went to court. Over the next few weeks, I had come and go.


That month I turned in the sketchiest expense report of my life.


 

That wasn’t the only time I ended up at a strip club while on the job before. It was a couple years ago, I was working a worker’s comp file out in Fountain Hills, AZ and this claimant had a couple lower body injuries. He was pretty active for an injured worker, he’d depart his residence, leave his wife behind and do all sorts of errands. On the 3rd and last day of surveillance, he stopped at the bank and then traveled to a central Phoenix strip club. I said to myself, I better run over to the bank too and withdraw some cash. Afterwards, I entered, did not see any signs prohibiting filming, but know in the back of my mind, DON’T GET CAUGHT FILMING. Last thing I wanted was to get 86’ed by a former high school linebacker.


But as I canvassed the area, gave out some dollars, I located the claimant, seated and with a dancer. I had to film this, this was going to be homerun video, so I set down my Sony Bloggie on a table, and put my wallet and keys on top, to “hide it”. Remember, he has lower body injuries, complains about sitting for periods of time, let alone a 130lb dancer on top of him, grooving to the latest T-Pain song. Only 1 thing, they must not have cared for filming inside because the club had some special red lights that produce any video to not come out clear. The 40 minutes of covert video I shot, came out all black except the red lights glowing. Ugh, I was super distraught, and the male adjuster was a little too, he really wanted to watch that video and I wanted the nickname of “Detective Tits.”

 

A couple years back, a client wanted to know what their cat was up to when they were working. Paid me to tail it. I’m not a fan of wasting my time but the works not always busy as a PI. Turns out the cat just walks around the streets, licks itself and climbs trees.

Cat yawning


A client wanted to know who was throwing rocks at their house at the wee-hours of the morning. He thought he pissed off his neighbor and his neighbor wanted redemption. I got out there at 05:00, set up with view of both homes and kept the camera rolling. Unfortunately, no rocks were thrown, and I was done at 07:00. Not very exciting, but ya never know.




More anecdotes from the streets in weeks to come.




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